Over at the incredible pro-marriage and sex-positive website One Extraordinary Marriage comes a great post entitled “69 Positive Marriage Quotes to Inspire and Motivate You.” Here are some of our favorites, with our commentary below each:
Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. —Barbara De Angelis
(Yes!! This is probably a quote that encapsulates the message of M&S+ more than any other!)
Your naked body should only belong to (the one who falls) in love with your naked soul. —Charlie Chaplin
A marriage is a gift. It should be opened up and enjoyed. —Greg Evans
(Very much enjoyed!)
Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave. —Martin Luther
(An idea perhaps we should strive for, eh?)
When the day is over, let it go. Don’t dwell on what you could’ve or should’ve done. Tomorrow is another day and another chance. —Mandy Hale
(No matter where your marriage is now, don’t give up hope!)
If these quotes inspire you, then you’ll love M&S+: The Community, where people who believe in these ideals – Christian men and women from all over – come together to support one another. We’re over 30 members now and you should be part. Join us today.
So, those of you who have visited this blog already and perused our Community section know that we have a growing little interactive area based on the mightybell.com platform. Call it the “Little Community That Could” for now, and we’re excited about the opportunity to reach more sex-positive Christians who want a place to, yes, talk about sex with each other.
As we discuss there, M&S+ seeks to bring Christians together who believe in the sex-positive, hot-monogamy movement, and have them interact in a genuine, forward-thinking, friendly, and healthy Christian environment and community that supports them, encourages them, and prays for them.
In order for such a community to grow and prosper, it is essential for there to be a medium by which like-minded, sex-positive Christians – whether they be. married men and women, singles, divorcees, and widows/ers — can engage with one another in a real-time, interactive medium through small groups and/or individual conversations.
That’s our belief. To take it a step further, though, we want to talk about some additional reasons why you should join, to give you a feel of the type of community we are going to create. So here are 6 Reasons Why You Should Join M&S+: The Community today:
1. It’s like a Coffee Shop. When you first arrive at M&S+: The Community, you’ll be greeted just like friendly baristas would at your favorite coffee shop. Around you will be people having civil discussions – in threads – about various topics surrounding sexuality. They will be bold, in some cases, but respectful. Always positive. Some may be having private conversations out of ear shot – and that’s okay too. At our shop, we don’t allow people to harass anyone or be a jerk -otherwise, you go home with JUST your cup of coffee. The point with this analogy is that it’s a pleasant, positive atmosphere, just like you’d expect.
2. It’s like a Corner Bar. Ever want to just hang out after work with a few friends who understand you and your dilemma. Where everyone knows your name (screenname, in this case) and they’re always glad you came? That’s also us. You can kick back, pour back a virtual cold one, and tell us what’s on your mind in a bold manner – regarding sexuality in marriage, regarding a struggle you’re having, or just to talk about promoting a sex-positive culture in general. We’ll tell you it’s okay, to go ahead and say it, and support you or give you advice, just like you would expect from a trusty bartender. We’ll also make sure you don’t drink too many, though, and are respectful to other patrons. And, we’ll make sure you go home to your spouse, only.
3. It’s like a Church. Yes, it is!! First of all, we’ll always keep Christ at the center of everything we do, period! Second, we’ll pray for you – more than you know. Marital sexuality is an issue that needs to be prayed about, for one, but so do singles , so do divorcees, so do people struggling as the low drive spouse. We even offer a “Prayer of the Day” to ponder. We want to be encouraging and always thinking of you.
4. It’s like a Library. Not sure about posting that marriage-based erotic story you have in mind on MarriageHeat yet? We have a special Storytellers section where we allow you, with a limited audience, to write out stories and get feedback. You may even find someone to write a story with! All in a safe spot where you will be encouraged and offered constructive, positive feedback.. All with the same values, too. Of course ,the stories will be hot – just like they are on MH!
5. It’s like a Mutual Admiration Society. A genuine one. Where, hopefully, sex-positive thought-leaders from across the Christian faith come together to support one another, lift each other up, and cheer each other on. Just had a great date with the spouse? Tell us! Just had a great launch at your blog? Tell us! Just met the woman of your dreams? Tell us! It’s fine, we’re open, and our core rule is that we’ll ALWAYS be positive. No negativity. Honesty, yes, but no put downs. We recognize we’re all kind of in this together and we truly admire what the others are doing for this cause.
6. It’s like a Rally! This is a movement – we all recognize that – to truly change how Christians think about and talk about sex. So, yes, we’re kind of jazzed about that, and there is some degree of camaraderie in the fact we’re all crazy enough to push this movement, even if it might make some around us think we’re a bit, well, out there. But, this is an important cause that can save marriages, keep people off of harmful paths, and generally just promote general happiness. That’s a good thing, and we like to really be unified in that effort…so it is like a rally!
So, we hope you’ll come by…we believe you’ll enjoy it. You will build real friendships. Real connections. Get real advice. And engage in real discussion. For more on the rules and our troll-free environment, visit the community page. If you’re ready to join, click here!
We’ll see you there!
“Why Community Is Important” Series Post #2
A few years ago, when I first began delving into the world of Christian marriage blogs, many of which dealt with sex, I was always moved by the degree to which various websites had a following. I actually started at ChristianNymphos.org (which still exists but hasn’t allowed comments for several years), which had quite a following, and then drifted to places like One Flesh Marriage, Intimacy in Marriage, Frankly Speaking, among others. Eventually, my journey took me to MarriageHeat.com, and the sense of authentic Christian community was obvious there.
I have always been more of a reader then a commenter. But it was easy to see the camaraderie develop between the more regular participants, which is quite understandable when you’re dealing with the sensitive topics of marriage, relationships, and certainly sex. It was certainly heartwarming to see people encourage each other, offer advice, and celebrate successes. You could see the opportunity for real friendship to develop – around a topic where most of us could use some friends. These topics are not those that you normally just voice with anyone, even a close friend, yet they’re so fundamental to our lives and our emotions and who we are as Christ-followers, that it would be healthy to be able to discuss them with someone who understood and was willing to listen. That’s what these sites offer, in theory.
This was certainly the case at MarriageHeat too, where people frequently praise the stories and offer long, detailed, in-depth and well-meaning advice about various subject matter and situations that people find themselves with. Over time, you begin to understand what everyone is going through and as human beings, you want to reach out to them, hug them (even if it’s a cyber hug), and talk to them. There is a real community feel.
Unfortunately, the format of “blogs and comment fields” just won’t do when it comes to actually building that community. Comment fields are great for commenting on the article itself, but not for discussion. Without discussion you really can’t have community. And there simply isn’t the functionality through a comment field for two or more people to have a long discussion – maybe on the topic in the article, but maybe not if it starts delving into personal anecdotes. It’s also important people to build friendships and trust, and without friendships you really can’t have community, either.
First of all, though some people are quite open, most are not, and you wonder how many people would say something if they knew it was private or at least semi-private. Second, real friendships (even if of the anonymous variety) can’t really develop through a public comment section, either . You’re just limited in how much you can say and should say – it’s a comment box, after all, not a chat format, and everyone can see it ,and perhaps not everyone should see it. Third, even if no one had an issue with someone seeing their story, it’s really not practical to really explore personal matters in-depth with someone you trust in that format, where a small group or one-on-one format would allow that. Finally, a real community requires connections being built between members, and that requires small groups or individual conversations, all which don’t work in comment fields.
The benefits of a sex-positive Christian community are enormous and have already been realized in just the last month. Consider these very real scenarios: Perhaps two women have a similar situation they’re facing in their own marriages, in terms of a low drive spouse, and they’re encouragement and tips keep their heads in the game, so to speak, and they come up with ideas to get things moving. Or perhaps a man and a woman befriend each other and develop a good friendship that’s not possible in a same-sex friendship, and they offer advice and encouragement that inspires new activity in their respective marriages. Perhaps a man is facing divorce and simply wants people he can talk to about the problems. Perhaps a single woman just wants a little hope for her future, and to look forward to what marriage can bring. Or perhaps a small group develops for people to encourage each other, pray for each other, comfort each other ,and cheer each other.
That’s community. That’s important. And it only comes via an interactive, safe, warm, and welcoming community of believers who share a common mission and common belief in the importance of hot monogamy!
That is why the MH-creation LifePositive as so important and that’s why we’ve created M&S+: The Community as a replacement. M&S+: The Community is on the MightyBell platform, which allows for semi-public comment in the main forum, but it also allows for people to create private or even secret “groups”, and also allows for private conversation. It really is a great format for these kinds of discussion, and we have a team of hosts and moderators ready to assist if anyone crosses the line..
Does this kind of community – full of men and women from all walks of life and all circumstances, ready to warmly greet you and welcome you – appeal to you? Then consider joining.
Does authentic, candid, but relevant discussion on issues of hot monogamy appeal to yoU? Then consider joining.
Does the ability to encourage others, offer them praise, and listen to their struggles, appeal to you? Then consider joining.
Yes, the topics are bold, but the discussion is real, respectful, and relevant. This stuff matters. It matters to marriage, it matters to our culture ,and it matters to our faith.
For a run down of expectations at M&S: The Community, click here.
When you’re ready to join, click here!
We can’t wait to greet you!
Married & Sex Positive has two key components – this blog as well as M&S+: The Community. If you’re interested in joining encourage you to read what it’s all about on this link. If after reading the rules and such, and you want to join, please do so.
For your safety, The community is “private” on the mightybell.com platform, so we can keep out trolls. However, it occurred to us that when you’re accepting the invite, it asks for a First and Last Name and you might be cautious.
Don’t be – in fact, you are encouraged to NOT use your complete name, unless you otherwise do in blogging. So, for instance, you could go with a first name and last initial (think James C), a pseudonym, or even a screenname.
Now, if you’re already out there publicly and have no qualms about continuing to do so, that’s your choice and you can do so! But, we remain anonymous for a reason and that’s to protect the readers and commenters. As we indicate in the “rules”, our only requirement is that you make out a brief biography, include whether you’re a male or female, and introduce yourself and participate some. And, of course, no troll-like behavior. That’s it!
P.S. – It does require an e-mail to sign up, but you can create anonymous one and we will approve you. Thank you!
One of the best resources for Christian couples is the number of wonderful books available to enhance their marriages both in and out of the bedroom. To help identify ones we feel are fantastic, we’d launched a Books section of this website, available as a menu option. We’ve already included one book – Sexy Talk by Sarah H Kinnamon – and will be adding more soon.
In addition to the Books section, here are some other things we’ll be working on for 2017:
– A comprehensive Hot Monogamy Network full of great information to assist couples and marriages, as well as helping promote and expand the sex-positive movement. You can’t just do this with Stories or call comment fields communities – it will take a real effort and that’s what we’re about.
– A private, safe Storytellers area. Not everyone is ready to have their story on a publicly viewable website, but would be willing to test out their stories in front of a more limited group. This capability already exists within the M&S+: The Community platform – we have a special group within that for just that purpose! If you’re interested, we encourage you to join today! Over time, this may exist outside of the Mighty Bell platform.
– Themes and Series. We want people to think and that means asking tough questions or offering compelling posts digging into issues impacting marriage, sex, and the church. We will do this through theme days (think “Tough Issue Tuesday”) or Series, like we are starting with the discussion about the importance of community.
– Success Stories. Many think only about the potential negative consequences of people interacting online who are part of the MH community in a one-on-one or small group environment. We want to turn that notion on its head and hear from you how such a meeting led to growth in your own marriage and the development of a wonderful friendship. Send us your ideas!
– Continued expansion of the M&S+: The Community. This is a core focus, as it is what motivated us to go our own direction. If you liked LP, we want you to LOVE this community. We’ll have polls, discussion groups, theme days, events, and the like. The first thing we need is people — read about the rules in the Community section of this site and then please join us today!
We hope you like what we’ll have to offer. Enjoy the rest of 2016 and let’s make 2017 amazing!
Merry Christmas to all readers and followers of this new venture, M&S+!
We are a site in just our initial stages, a “church plant”, if you will. We aim to grow into a resource for all those who seek solutions in their own circumstance, while providing a place for a community to grow and thrive in a healthy, positive way. We seek to advocate for hot monogamy, and along with it, a new approach and really, a new-thinking in regards to how the Christian faith approaches sexuality and marriage.
We have no idea how this site will grow – we’ll let the Lord lead that path. We’re thankful for those of you who have stopped by, and for those who have expressed interest in joining M&S+: The Community. We hope you’ll keep coming back!
The M&S+ Founders