Six Reasons You Should Join M&S+: The Community

So, those of you who have visited this blog already and perused our Community section know that we have a growing little interactive area based on the mightybell.com platform.  Call it the “Little Community That Could” for now, and we’re excited about the opportunity to reach more sex-positive Christians who want a place to, yes, talk about sex with each other.

As we discuss there, M&S+ seeks to bring Christians together who believe in the sex-positive, hot-monogamy movement, and have them interact in a genuine, forward-thinking, friendly, and healthy Christian environment and community that supports them, encourages them, and prays for them.

In order for such a community to grow and prosper, it is essential for there to be a medium by which like-minded, sex-positive Christians – whether they be. married men and women, singles, divorcees, and widows/ers — can engage with one another in a real-time, interactive medium through small groups and/or individual conversations.

That’s our belief.  To take it a step further, though, we want to talk about some additional reasons why you should join, to give you a feel of the type of community we are going to create.  So here are 6 Reasons Why You Should Join M&S+: The Community today:

1. It’s like a Coffee Shop.  When you first arrive at M&S+: The Community, you’ll be greeted just like friendly baristas would at your favorite coffee shop.  Around you will be people having civil discussions – in threads –  about various topics surrounding sexuality.  They will be bold, in some cases, but respectful.  Always positive.  Some may be having private conversations  out of ear shot – and that’s okay too.  At our shop, we don’t allow people to harass anyone or be a jerk -otherwise, you go home with JUST your cup of coffee. The point with this analogy is that it’s a pleasant, positive atmosphere, just like you’d expect.

2. It’s like a Corner Bar.  Ever want to just hang out after work with a few friends who understand you and your dilemma. Where everyone knows your name (screenname, in this case) and they’re always glad you came?  That’s also us.  You can kick back, pour back a virtual cold one, and tell us what’s on your mind in a bold manner – regarding sexuality in marriage,  regarding a struggle you’re having, or just to talk about promoting a sex-positive culture in general.  We’ll tell you it’s okay, to go ahead and say it, and support you or give you advice, just like you would expect from a trusty bartender.  We’ll also make sure you don’t drink too many, though, and are respectful to other patrons.  And, we’ll make sure you go home to your spouse, only.

3. It’s like a Church.  Yes, it is!!  First of all, we’ll always keep Christ at the center of everything we do, period!  Second, we’ll pray for you – more than you know.  Marital sexuality is an issue that needs to be prayed about, for one, but so do singles , so do divorcees, so do people struggling as the low drive spouse.  We even offer a “Prayer of the Day” to ponder.  We want to be encouraging and always thinking of you.

4. It’s like a Library.  Not sure about posting that marriage-based erotic story you have in mind on MarriageHeat yet?   We have a special Storytellers section where we allow you, with a limited audience, to write out stories and get feedback.  You may even find someone to write a story with!  All in a safe spot where you will be encouraged and offered constructive, positive feedback.. All with the same values, too.  Of course ,the stories will be hot – just like they are on MH!

5. It’s like a Mutual Admiration Society. A genuine one.  Where, hopefully, sex-positive thought-leaders from across the Christian faith come together to support one another, lift each other up, and cheer each other on.  Just had a great date with the spouse? Tell us!  Just had a great launch at your blog?  Tell us!  Just met the woman of your dreams?  Tell us!   It’s fine, we’re open, and our core rule is that we’ll ALWAYS be positive.  No negativity. Honesty, yes, but no put downs.  We recognize we’re all kind of in this together and we truly admire what the others are doing for this cause.

6. It’s like a Rally!  This is a movement – we all recognize that – to truly change how Christians think about and talk about sex.  So, yes, we’re kind of jazzed about that, and there is some degree of camaraderie in the fact we’re all crazy enough to push this movement, even if it might make some around us think we’re a bit, well, out there.  But, this is an important cause that can save marriages, keep people off of harmful paths, and generally just promote general happiness.  That’s a good thing, and we like to really be unified in that effort…so it is like a rally!

So, we hope you’ll come by…we believe you’ll enjoy it. You will build real friendships.  Real connections.  Get real advice.  And engage in real discussion. For more on the rules and our troll-free environment, visit the community page.  If you’re ready to join, click here!

We’ll see you there! 

Building Community: Why Blog Comments Just Won’t Do

“Why Community Is Important” Series Post #2

A few years ago, when I first began delving into the world of Christian marriage blogs, many of which dealt with sex, I was always moved by the degree to which various websites had a following. I actually started at ChristianNymphos.org (which still exists but hasn’t allowed comments for several years), which had quite a following, and then drifted to places like One Flesh Marriage, Intimacy in Marriage, Frankly Speaking, among others.  Eventually, my journey took me to MarriageHeat.com, and the sense of authentic Christian community was obvious there.

I have always been more of a reader then a commenter. But it was easy to see the camaraderie develop between the more regular participants, which is quite understandable when you’re dealing with the sensitive topics of marriage, relationships, and certainly sex. It was certainly heartwarming to see people encourage each other, offer advice, and celebrate successes.  You could see the opportunity for real friendship to develop – around a topic where most of us could use some friends. These topics are not those that you normally just voice with anyone, even a close friend, yet they’re so fundamental to our lives and our emotions and who we are as Christ-followers, that it would be healthy to be able to discuss them with someone who understood and was willing to listen.  That’s what these sites offer, in theory.

This was certainly the case at MarriageHeat too, where people frequently praise the stories and offer long, detailed, in-depth and well-meaning advice about various subject matter and situations that people find themselves with.  Over time, you begin to understand what everyone is going through and as human beings, you want to reach out to them, hug them (even if it’s a cyber hug), and talk to them.  There is a real community feel.

Unfortunately, the format of “blogs and comment fields” just won’t do when it comes to  actually building that community.  Comment fields are great for commenting on the article itself, but not for discussion.  Without discussion you really can’t have community.  And there simply isn’t the functionality through a comment field for two or more people to have a long discussion – maybe on the topic in the article, but maybe not if it starts delving into personal anecdotes.  It’s also important people to build friendships and trust, and without friendships you really can’t have community, either.

First of all, though some people are quite open, most are not, and you wonder how many people would say something if they knew it was private or at least semi-private.  Second, real friendships (even if of the anonymous variety) can’t really develop through a public comment section, either . You’re just limited in how much you can say and should say – it’s a comment box, after all, not a chat format, and everyone can see it ,and perhaps not everyone should see it.   Third, even if no one had an issue with someone seeing their story, it’s really not practical to really explore personal matters in-depth with someone you trust in that format, where a small group or one-on-one format would allow that.  Finally, a real community requires connections being built between members, and that requires small groups or individual conversations, all which don’t work in comment fields.

The benefits of a sex-positive Christian community are enormous and have already been realized in just the last month.  Consider these very real scenarios:  Perhaps two women have a similar situation they’re facing in their own marriages, in terms of a low drive spouse, and they’re encouragement and tips keep their heads in the game, so to speak, and they come up with ideas to get things moving.  Or perhaps a man and a woman befriend each other and develop a good friendship that’s not possible in a same-sex friendship, and they offer advice and encouragement that inspires new activity in their respective marriages.  Perhaps a man is facing divorce and simply wants people he can talk to about the problems.  Perhaps a single woman just wants a little hope for her future, and to look forward to what marriage can bring.  Or perhaps a small group develops for people to encourage each other, pray for each other, comfort each other ,and cheer each other.

That’s community.  That’s important.  And it only comes via an interactive, safe, warm, and welcoming community of believers who share a common mission and common belief in the importance of hot monogamy!

That is why the MH-creation LifePositive as so important and that’s why we’ve created M&S+: The Community as a replacement. M&S+: The Community is on the MightyBell platform, which allows for semi-public comment in the main forum, but it also allows for people to create private or even secret “groups”, and also allows for private conversation.  It really is a great format for these kinds of discussion, and we have a team of hosts and moderators ready to assist if anyone crosses the line..

Does this kind of community – full of men and women from all walks of life and all circumstances, ready to warmly greet you and welcome you – appeal to you?  Then consider joining.

Does authentic, candid, but relevant discussion on issues of hot monogamy appeal to yoU?  Then consider joining.

Does the ability to encourage others, offer them praise, and listen to their struggles, appeal to you?  Then consider joining.

Yes, the topics are bold, but the discussion is real, respectful, and relevant. This stuff matters.  It matters to marriage, it matters to our culture ,and it matters to our faith.

For a run down of expectations at M&S: The Community, click here.

When you’re ready to join, click here!

We can’t wait to greet you!

M&S+ Series: Why Community is Important

If you’re like us here at M&S+, you enjoy reading and following the many wonderful Christian-based websites and blogs devoted to furthering the spirit of hot monogamy and the sex-positive movement in general.

Many of them we have linked here, and they come in different varieties, from pure blogs to comprehensive websites full of tips and ideas to story-driven mediums like MarriageHeat.com.  All offer wonderful resources on hot monogamy.  Some are a bit tamer, some are a bit bolder, but all are within the same wheelhouse – they want to promote new thinking regarding sexuality in marriage, they want churches and Christians in general to talk about sex, and they want to promote and celebrate hot monogamy in marriages.  We endorse all of them.

The reason we endorse all of them is that we here at M&S+ believe strongly in the Christ-based, sex-positive, hot monogamy movement.  It truly is a movement. It is a movement with real challenges and real struggles – in fact, many said blogs and websites have not even survived or have pondered shutting down.  It truly is a tough thing to believe so passionately about when surrounded by a culture which tugs you at both sides – the secular world ruins sexuality in so many regards, yet on the flip side, some within our own Christian world say you shouldn’t even be discussing those matters – or certainly not in the manner these various sites do.

It is my belief that for this movement to flourish, we have to be in it together. To be in it together, we have to truly build a community – not just between those writing the blogs and websites, but those interacting in the comment fields.  Each of these sites, particularly those with an active comment section, have a sense of real community and support for one another.  However, the limitation of blogs and such , particularly on platforms that do not allow members to exchange e-mails or promote outside websites, is that they limit the ability of that community to really connect in meaningful, powerful ways.

For a short period of a few weeks, Life Positive provided that connection, but the owners felt led to shut it down.  While we respect that decision, we nontheless feel that was unfortunate, and we have thus launched M&S+: The Community to further on the amazing things that were going on within LP.

However, some may be wondering, “Why do you feel such an interactive community is so necessary?”

That’s a good question and one worth exploring.  Over the next few days, that’s exactly what we’ll do here at M&S+in a series of posts. Among the items we’ll discuss are:

  • Blog Comments Just Won’t Do:  Why the sex-positive, hot monogamy movement is dead without an interactive community.
  • Friendships Matter:  How building friendships through interactive mediums can play such a vital role in helping people deal with sex-related issues and notions.
  • Fear Shouldn’t Control Us:  Danger lurks everywhere, including in our churches.  We should not let fear govern us nor stop us from doing the bold and challenging thing.
  • Interactive Communities Save Marriages:  We’ll discuss how just in the short time, LP helped several marriages and how a similar community can do so in the future.
  • How a Community Protects Itself: We’ll discuss how a true interactive community can help protect itself from trolls, but also protect the sex-positive movement in general.

In the meantime, we urge you to consider joining M&H: The Community.  Our community is young so don’t expect much at first, but that’s actually wonderful as you can help  play a role in making it successful.  Making such a platform work require buy-in from all who participate.

Thank you!

Welcome to M&S+!

Firssmallicont of all, we apologize for the “mess”, but as with any new online community, we’re in the process of getting the place set-up and looking right, so we appreciate the patience.

Marriage & Sex Positive, or M&S+ for short, is a new online resource center devoted to hot monogamy. We will have two platforms – our main website, here, as well as our interactive platform via mightybell.com entitled M&S+: The Community.

Inspired by the wonderful website MarriageHeat.com, as well as many other Christian Marriage blogs and websites, the creators of this site are three refugees (two men and one woman) from LifePositive, the online community launched by MarriageHeat, but then abruptly pulled down without notice.  By the grace of God, we happened to have exchanged e-mails just as the site was closing, and have banded together to launch this new resource center and interactive community.

As with all new websites, we will be a work in progress ,but our mission here is simple:

M&S+ seeks to bring Christians together who believe in the sex-positive, hot-monogamy movement, and have them interact in a genuine, forward-thinking, friendly, and healthy Christian environment and community that supports them, encourages them, and prays for them. We are fans of marriage-based erotic stories and seek to promote Christian blogs and resources who support the sex-positive movement. We welcome married men and women, singles, divorcees, and widows/ers who share our mission.

Will will providing useful and helpful links, resources, and information here at the website, in hopes of being a one-stop shop for those seeking Christian answers to questions regarding Biblical, healthy, hot, marital sex. As we move forward, we ask for your prayers, and ask you to join us!